haven't been to Justin's blog for long. half an year actually. so is him. nearly twice every year. ha~

what i want to say is that i'm suddenly shocked after reading his latest article. it reminds me of the life style two years ago: teaching, teaching and teaching. here and there. in the new campus, in the nine-colour-deer school, for those self-taught student. the only impression left to me about the period in my life seems to be the typical weather in Fuzhou, the students, and the new campus. that of study and my own postgraduate class...quite little. what a shame! it is supposed to be my focus.but that is the true situation at that given time in that given place. i believe it is still the same now, with my classmates at home. like Justin. it is not easy to comment on him. hmm...first met him when i was in the third year of university and was definitely astonished by his nearly perfect oral English! just as the feeling of Lucy at that time. in a too high level to reach. and the person as well. but...you can' tell...always... can you believe that they are two of my best friends now? neither did i in 2003. he is really really talkative, like he laughs at himself, quark, noisy. hmm...it is ok actually, not that bad. it is a good and easy-going friend, always makes you laugh, but you may find sad aspects in the next second. so...suitable to talk whatever kind of topics with him. hard to find a friend like him here. and just as he said in the dairy:lonely. yeah lonely. in Britain. in London. life is not easy here, so i try to find every tiny bit of enjoyment. it is a pity that i'm not that kind of pub-socializing girl. and i gradually find that i'm actually not good at socialization. that's why many of my friends are good talkers or share loads of interest with me. because it makes me feel safe. just be a good listner. sometimes i talk a lot. but then i'll lose the mood and feel like strange. strange. me.

 

2004. i've also done some interpretation assistance in some affairs, like, oh, the Manhunt final in Jinjiang. I thought i would never forget it, about the handsome models, about the unfair treatment from the organiser from Beijing, about the 7-day experience with Lucy, Sophia, and lots others. and Shin. what if he can read and understand this little piece of murmuring now? I'm beginning to learn some basic Korean from Jin, the Korean girl in my flat now as language exchange. but the time never reverses back. neither does my life. and ince. he is being so nice to me in the game, the first net game i ever played. and the elder brother i've got in that game. just in the game. that is net life. never continues in your real life. and if i hadn't been to Justin's blog, i believe this slip of memory will still be left aside in a little dark corner. the memory i thought i would never forget. what happens? i'm fooled by the time or fooled by the location? or just nothing?

 

ok. it is 2007 now and the Olympic is even not far away. i've got a sentence that i like very much at present. 'always put yourself at a new starting point.' it is indeed positive and incentive. but, sometimes alone in the room at midnight, memory comes back. overwhelmingly. lonely. and i suddenly find myself that helpless. and puzzled. who am i? where am i? am i the one in the past, at the present, or just for the future? time never runs back, so i have to store them in boxes one after another.

 

identities. maybe it is i who need to be explored on this topic.